Doctor Who Series 6, Episode 13 Review: The Wedding of River Song
- doctorbrick
- Jan 23
- 4 min read
Updated: Jan 27
What did you think of this episode?
Sonic!
Good!
Bumpy-wumpy!
Exterminate!
Doctor Who Series 6 was packed with mysteries, let's just say it from the off, too many mysteries. We had the Doctor’s apparent death at Lake Silencio, the identity of River Song, Amy and Rory's missing child, Madame Kovarian, the Silence, and the Silence they want falling...
With so many threads running throughout the series, you’d expect an epic, multi-part finale to tie everything together. Instead, we got The Wedding of River Song, a single, overstuffed episode that attempted to wrap up everything in one go - and I can't lie, I think it ultimately failed.
"Hi honey, I’m home."
I mentioned in my review of Closing Time and I will mention it again in my review of The Wedding of River Song - all this build up, a whole series worth of it, trying to be tied up in one stand alone episode just didn't make any sense to me.
That is the biggest problem with this finale for me, it feels rushed at the end. Even this episode starts slowly, giving us under twenty minutes to resolve a lot of shit. After all the build-up, time is ending again, and it all seemed a bit familiar, just done in a slightly different way. We are thrown into a bizarre alternate reality where all of time is happening at once, leading to chaotic imagery like Charles Dickens on TV talking about A Christmas Carol. It’s an interesting idea, but it feels like a gimmick rather than an essential part of the story. The Doctor, Amy, Rory and River are in the eye of the storm again as well, so obviously things don't affect them like the rest of everyone else. Now this is all starting to sound very Big Bangy!
"Why do you always have handcuffs?"
None of the twists land with much impact. The reveal that the Doctor didn’t really die, but used the Teselecta robot to fake his death, is hardly surprising - once the Teselcta had been shown - it was one of the most obvious solutions imaginable. River refusing to kill the Doctor to break time feels needlessly convoluted and the wedding itself just sort of happened. I am not sure we have seen enough of River yet to justify it all.
This finale feels really small in scale as well. I know time is ending, but it didn't really feel like that much of a threat. I would have much rather of watched the Silence creating havoc and destroying things.
While Matt Smith is as watchable as ever, and there are some decent moments - like the Doctor learning of the Brigadier’s death - the episode as a whole is underwhelming. Series 6 spent so much time setting up mysteries that the payoff was never going to be as exciting as the build-up. But instead of a clever, emotionally resonant resolution, we got a finale that was mostly style over substance. Every single mystery was solved in the most obvious way imaginable.
"Those reports of the sun spots and the solar flares. They’re wrong. They’re aren’t any. It’s not the sun. It’s you. The sky is full of a million million voices, saying, yes of course. We’ll help. You’ve touched so many lives, saved so many people. Did you think when your time came you’d really have to do more than just ask? You’ve decided that the universe is better off without you. But the universe doesn’t agree."
Oh and enough of this trying to make Rory and Amy bad ass characters. It just isn't them. Amy basically murdering Kovarian was a bit eek as well.
In the end, The Wedding of River Song felt so rushed and was a slightly unsatisfying conclusion to a season that was too tangled for its own good. It leaves Doctor Who in a strange place, with the Doctor faking his death and stepping back into the shadows - but I did enjoy the oldest question in the Universe being Doctor Who? I loved that in fact.
What a moaner I am becoming!
As I am on the subject of moaning can I just take a moment to say fuck you Trump! Fuck you Musk! Fuck you Bezos! Fuck you Zuckerberg!
Things like those cunts always remind me about the Christmas adverts everybody wanks over annually. John Lewis, Amazon, McDonalds might be telling you a lovely tale about love, loss, hope, blah, blah, blah, but ultimately they don't give a fuck about any of that, they are trying to get you to give them money. Nothing more, nothing less.
None of these billionaires give a fuck about you! Meta, Amazon and co will tell you how they are oh so inclusive and oh so keen to look after the environment, lying fucking cunts! Look at them, tongues at the ready to give Trump's arse a good old rim, all for a few more dollars for their bank accounts.
Now I am no expert, and I am uneducated on this, but I believe Walmart were getting all sort of grief or selling chest binders and LGBQT products. Now they have done away with that and are donating to Trump. This was always what I thought would happen though - being 'woke' was only done for profit, now it isn't as in fashion, they go onto the next thing.
I have no problem with a company NOT being woke, just stay fucking silent on matters ideally, what I cannot fucking stand is the bare faced lying that they actually give a shit. They don't care it is Black History Month, Pride, all they care about is fucking money! It is truly pathetic! Why is it all about money? Fucking go outside once in a while guys, enjoy life fucking give up for a bit! It is fucking weird!
We really need to fight these vile pieces of shit! How? I don't know yet - it is hard to avoid these fuckers in every day life now. Do I delete Instagram? Get rid of my Prime membership? I don't know the answer at this moment in time. I'll get back to you on that.
Just for good measure though, just so I am clear - FUCK YOU TRUMP!
RATING: Bumpy-wumpy!
BEST LINE: "The first question! The question that must never be answered! Hidden in plain sight! The question you’ve been running from all your life! Doctor Who? Doctor Who? Doctor Who!?"
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