A little diary about our trip to Billund:
29th October 2024
It hasn't been the strongest start, I didn't set an alarm and the wife is giving me silent treatment partnered with some dagger looks for waking up late, it's going to be a long car journey to Heathrow.
Thankfully it wasn't too bad in the end, are after a missed turning we got to our destination. We had arranged to park on a lovely guys drive, I spent the next couple of hours calculating in my head how much I thought he made from renting out his driveway. I'm still not sure, but there were 5 or 6 cars on it, and I believe he has a couple of other places so he must do pretty well out of it.
We were flying with British Airways and it was all very easy. It wasn't all that long ago we flew to the Dominican Republic and this was a piece of piss compared to that. You really don't even realise you have been flying it's that bloody quick. I honestly think I would take short haul trips all the time if I didn't have such a love for Disney! A trip of the Asian Disney parks and a trip to Japan has been a long, long dream of mine.
Anyway, we landed at around 3pm Danish time and things got even better in more ways than one. There was bugger all queue at customs, we had no luggage to collect, and then we had an Uber taking us straight to our lodge in Lalandia. Within half an hour or so of touching down we were in our lodge, honestly, that is pure holiday goals for me!!
After a quick look around the lodge we were off for a wander, swimming shorts at the ready.
I'm not a massive picture taker, but I'm trying to snap a few for here. I'm a firm believer in your head being the best place for your memories. We went to the Blenheim Halloween Lights a couple of days ago and honestly people are selfish pricks! Stopping in the middle of the path to take a picture, barging in front of the kids when watching something to take a picture, fuck off and use your own eyes you absolute cunts!!
The main building reminds me of the Venetian in Vegas, minus the expensive designer shops and canals…
I've only been here an hour tops and I've already decided this place pisses all over Center Parcs. It cost us a lot for the flights to get here, but if you tot it up it still costs about the same as a half-term trip to the dome. I will discuss this more as we go.
The pool was full of slides, and some really good ones as well. There was a rapid type slide which was really good, the kids loved it, there were plenty of ring rides, some for the younger ones and some for the older ones. The water was a tad cold for my liking, but then I am just being a moaning Englishman.
Talking of being English, it was a bit of an eye opener how free Europeans are in the changing rooms, cock everywhere. It is great that they can be like this by the way, they do not worry about it, whatever shape or size. Fair play to them!!
After the swim we went to a restaurant called Bones, I thought it might be a bog standard bit of food, but it was really good. The theming of it was great and the food tasted amazing. The kids (and me and the wife) were over the moon with the ice cream machine as well. It was 1990's Pizza Hut all over again for me.
After that it was back to the house for a game or two of Dominoes. Good times!!
30th October 2024
We woke up pretty early and had our porridge's then headed to the main building at Lalandia. We were about a five minute walk away, but this is a big place, so if you were the other end you might need the little train to pick you up. One thing we noticed was that the little train in question is always very full.
As I mentioned earlier, Lalandia is brilliant and absolutely pisses all over Center Parcs. Now I have enjoyed Center Parcs but do I really want to spend over 2 grand to go there for 4 nights? Fuck no!!! To be honest, it is a fucking disgrace they charge this much.
It is a bug bear of mine that the government seem to think they know your kids better than you. You know, the fuckers who don't live in any kind of real reality. I think it is a joke we could be fined for taking kids out of school. I give the pricks enough money in my taxes to waste, and I see no reason why a couple of weeks out would hurt anyone. I could perhaps accept the fine if they didn't let scandalous prices in school holidays exist though. Honestly, it should be a fucking crime!! We are lucky enough to do OK with money, we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but we can afford a roof over our heads, food, and a treat every now and then. How are people meant to go away for a bit? Escape the rat race? No government has ever done enough to stop all the profiteering that goes on.
It is for that reason alone that I would always come to Lalandia if given a chance. Center Parcs can fuck off with their disgusting prices.
If you ignore the fact that Center Parcs is treble the price there is also another bonus to Lalandia. We paid £30.00 each for a golden bracelet. This bracelet pretty much gives you free reign to do any activity you like. So for £120.00 we played Shuffleboard and Football Pool, the kids went on trampolines, they went on an indoor zip wire, they went ice skating. We did all this by midday on the first full day. We could have also played badminton, gone bowling, tried to master Padel Tennis, and there were a whole load of other things we didn't even get to look at. What would £120.00 get you at Center Parcs? A couple of hours making chocolate perhaps?
There was a brilliant looking high wires thing, but this wasn't open whilst we were there. I assume this is a summer only activity. It looked amazing though.
Enough Center Parcs bashing though!!
We then spent a fair amount of time in the pool, trying to get on as many slides as possible, the Wild River was a particular favorite.
Once we were tired out from that we walked round a couple of the shops and again, it must be noted that the stuff hey sold was of a very good quality. The wife told me that so it must be true!!
Eventually it was back to the house for more Dominoes, a bowl of pasta and a game of Outsmarted.
31st October 2024
Now we're talking. Legoland!! We were there way too early, but it was all good!!
We had signed up to do the Brick or Treat, I will hold my hands up and admit I have no idea how much this costs, but it was good none the less. Everyone who works at the park seems keen and happy to be there, and the people manning the stalls were a pleasure.
The kids got their driving licences - I was slightly jealous I couldn't go on this! I had to make do watching with a coffee.
The theme park itself is really good, you can go to some places and they live off the name alone and it can be quite depressing. There were some really good rides here, and the kids loved them all. Miniland is fun to look around, I dread to think how long that took to build.
We had a bit of time left in the day so we decided to head into Billund where we heard there was a Trunk or Treat going on outside the LEGO House. It wasn't quite as impressive as we thought, but it did give us a glimpse of the impressive building. We had a quick look round the shop where I purchased The Wooden Set which was signed by the designer - he was a really lovely guy! We thought this might make the set rare, but apparently he does a lot of signing. I cancelled any plans for retirement on the spot.
Opposite the LEGO House is a nice looking gastro pub where we had a meal - although burgers were starting to wear a bit thin by this point. They had a selection of games you could play, and we learned how to play Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza which has been added to the wish list.
We cocked up majorly by heading to a shop after, trying to stock up with supplies, but we really did struggle to find a sauce for pasta - I know, Brits abroad, savages!!!!! To make matters worse we walked back and ended up getting a little lost, but eventually we made it back through the darkness and ready for bed
1st November 2024
This was what I was really looking forward to - the LEGO House - and I can confirm it was well worth the wait.
On our way there we walked through the Sculpture Park, a park with 22 different sculptures around it. When I come to countries like Denmark I am always hugely jealous of there way of life. Everywhere seems cleaner than England, and even having a path that had different coloured lines leading you to various places around the town blew my mind. We were firmly on the yellow path, destination fun.
The LEGO House really is a brilliant place for kids and adults (whether you are an AFOL or not). My wife is in no way a big LEGO fan, but she was impressed, and out of all of us was the most impressive builder of the day.
I worried that the kids might get bored - I am the biggest LEGO fan in our house by a country mile, and we went to the Discovery Centre in Birmingham and I couldn't help but feel that they were underwhelmed. Here though was a different story.
There are so many clever and amazing things to do. We started by controlling Technic diggers on an impressive floor, digging holes, watering flowers and the like. The stop motion studio was brilliant, the amount of things you could build and then watch come to life was mind blowing. Building a fish and then watching it swim around, building a figure and then watching them dance.
It was so impressive and hours of fun. We could of stayed a lot longer than we did and still not have run out of things to do.
The restaurant is so good as well, and in their own clever way allow kids to perhaps branch out on their eating as well. Using the bricks to make your order, watching the minifigures make it, watching your order come down a conveyor belt in a big brick, and then being served by a couple of LEGO robots, unreal. The food was bloody good as well. It isn't just a burger and chips, it was so much better. I was very, very impressed. LEGO have knocked this place out of the park.
If I had to pick a favorite part though it would of been the basement. Walking through the history of LEGO and seeing how this company became so iconic. Taking a look at some sets that sparked memories of building as a child.
I could of course add the shop to my favorite place as well. I couldn't resist and ended up buying the LEGO House and Minifigure Tribute sets. The youngest also got the LEGO House set, the eldest, well, she was saving her money for some spray of some sort at the duty free - you can't win them all!!
We walked the correct way home this time but still managed to make a massive mistake. We were tired, but we had agreed to go in the pool after. This was a bit of a chore, but eventually when we got there quite late it was nice and quiet and a good chance to tick a couple of the other slides off. A quick trip to the arcade after, which is just as rubbish as the ones in the UK. Am I looking through my rose tinted glasses here? When I was younger I am sure you had a whole lot longer on an arcade machine than the 30 seconds you get these days? None of this token shit either.
Sometimes I do wonder if anything has been improved in my time on Earth. Money just turns everything to shit!
2nd November 2024
Our final full day. We had booked a couple of activities to do in the morning, Shuffleboard which was really good fun, and Football Pool, which probably looks better than it actually is. I almost forgot, there are a couple of mini golf courses here, one inside and one outside. There are so many things to do!
The afternoon was spent in the pool and after that we had a really nice buffet meal. There are two buffet restaurants, one Italian and one Mexican, and when both are open you can fill your boots from both. We spent an outrageous amount of money on an all inclusive holiday in the simmer in Dominican Republic, this buffet was better than their one!!
3rd November 2024
We had enough time to pop back for another go on Shuffleboard, the trampolines and the zip wire. Then that was it!!!!
One final plus point to the whole trip was Billund airport was delightfully quiet and stress free, and it has a bloody good LEGO shop in. The wife surprised me by splashing out on a set for herself, The Little Mermaid shell. We now have a whole lot of LEGO coming back with us, and absolutely nowhere to build or store it!!!
To sum it up, I would recommend this to anyone. Even without the LEGO parts, Lalandia would have been great as a holiday in itself. I suspect that we will return at some point.
Comments